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Ejay

Steam Controller Battle Scars...

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Ejay

Valve recently decided to cut their losses with the Steam Controller and do a close-out sale on their remaining inventory, selling them at 5 dollars (USD). I have been reading the posted comments on the controller area of the Steam site and there are a good many negative comments along with some positive comments, so then I got to thinking about my own personal experience with the Steam controller.

Backup for a little personal history. I bought the Steam controller when it first came out a few years ago. It looked so cool on the pictures and all. And being produced by “Steam”, I thought, wow, I am going to get something way cool and high tech. I paid about 50 dollars (USD) for it at the time. Patiently I waited at my driveway, day after day until it arrived. And when it did, it was all wrapped up nice and in a great box and all.  I could hardly wait as I ripped off the plastic wrap and all so I could insert the “AA” batteries and fire the thing up. Awesome!

The controller did work from the get go and all was fantastic. However, after about ten minutes of playing, my hands and fingers began to ache and hurt.  The controller just did not seem to fit very well and the buttons were not located in the best position for my game playing.  Still, not being a quitter, I played on anyway because I was going to get my 50$ worth no matter what. My fingers, especially those between the first finger and the thumb-that little valley between them, really started to hurt.  I finally had to put the controller down and take a rest, for about 2 months. Eventually my wounds healed. Being the ever optimist that I am, I picked it up several months later and tried it again. Ouch. All the healed finger and hand wounds from the first time soon began to reopen. And once again the unit felt just as “unfriendly” as it did the first time. 

Another couple of days passed, and after making one more attempt to use the controller one more time, it soon became clear to me that the high-paid executives at Valve must have created this thing on the drawing board and never picked it up and tried it before production. It had to be something like that because it was the most uncomfortable controller I ever used. Either that or the people that designed the beast had no fingers or hands. I guess everything always looks good on the drawing board. Here we had a failure of something that could have been great, if Valve only spent a couple of more minutes in research and development.  To this day, my controller sits lonely, up on a high shelf, exactly where I put it a few years ago and never looked back. But it’s Valve we’re talking about so no expectations from yo’ boy. And I have never once come across a single person that loves or even likes using the controller for that matter. 

As I said earlier, I read many negative comments from people regarding the controller and I had to say to myself, Look dudes, what did you expect? The thing was being blown out for almost pennies-when it cost Valve fifty times that much to built it. So, for all those that posted the negative comments, did you ever think to ask someone that has one what they thought about it? Apparently not. You probably were just lured by a cheap too-good-to-be-true fantastic deal right?  I’m sorry, but those that bought one during the close-out and are pissed off, have no one but themselves to blame if they did not do their due diligence before plopping down their few dollars of hard-earned cash.

So what now since there are no refunds or returns? All may not be lost. Someday, long after your hand wounds have healed from using the damn thing, it could become a rare collector’s item. I mean vinyl records are making a comeback right? And so are nostalgic Nintendo consoles. Hey, you might just have a future priceless item in your possession. And even if not, it sure looks pretty sitting up there on the high shelf in the closet.
-Ejay  

 

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